A Life Changing Decision

In my previous post Joyful Closet, Comfortable Shoes I spoke about the changes that happened in my physical environment (mainly in the area of clothing), after I started on the decluttering journey brought on by reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.  I also mentioned that it was way more than a clothing purge that happened.  My view of the whole world started to change. My hunt for joy went way beyond shoes, plates, and furniture.  

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A New Path

Which brings me to the life changing decision that I touched upon in Joyful Closet, Comfortable Shoes.   After going through my clothes, my joy honing skill was becoming sharpened so quickly that I began to realize that the joy I felt when I first started my job as a speech therapist 5 years ago was gone.  After much thought, discussion, and contemplation I decided to quit and pursue some of my own interests. This wasn’t done lightly or on a whim, believe me.  I had what many would consider a “good job”, working in the public schools which has many, many perks, but also many stresses. So many voices in (and out) of my head would say, “Don’t give up that job, it has a pension, summers off and great benefits…  You’re on childcare leave and you’ll have a job to go back to when the little guy goes to school.”  And while this was definitely true, there was another, quieter voice inside saying “You’re not happy. It’s time to move on.”  So I decided to resign.  

 

What Was I Thinking??

Now, I’m thinking most people who quit their jobs either 1) have another job lined up, or 2) have some sort of plan to get another job right away.  This was not my situation, which made answering the question “You quit? Why’d you do that? What are you going to do now?” a little bit stressful.  My go to answer was “Well, I’m on childcare leave and according to our contract, I can’t work at all unless it’s for the the schools, and you know, they don’t have a part time position for me, and I want to be home with my son as much as possible.”  

 

While this was completely factual, and I believed I was going to find a part-time job or start a business after I resigned, those are not the main reasons I resigned. I didn’t really have a “good” reason for quitting, at least not in the eyes of the world around me (or so I projected). What I did know (and still do know) is I had felt, for quite some time, that this was the right thing to do FOR ME. Why is it right for me you might ask? I can give a number of reasons including – I’m not passionate about the work anymore, the job is stressful, I’m exhausted when I get home and I want to give my energy to my son. Those are all great reasons, but the real reason I quit is because it felt right.  

My “Wake Up” Call

I had a realization that September before I quit (it took me until November to work up the courage to resign).  I had been home full-time with my son the summer before, he was just about to turn 1, and I realized I did not dread getting up in the morning. He would (and continues to) wake me anywhere between 5am and 7am (and during daylight savings time, he’s up the hour or so early at 4:30, yippee!).  

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am NOT a morning person. I will lay in bed to the last second that I can, and I will slowly drag myself up.  Now, when I wake up to a knock in the head from my son’s little head bumping into mine, or by his strategically placed finger up my nose, I don’t wake with a sense of “oh God, I don’t want to do this!” I wake up with “oh God it’s so EARLY, please go back to bed!” but even that is said with joy (well, with as much joy as one can muster at 4:30 am.) That joy has eliminated the dread I used to feel in the morning, and that’s how I know quitting was the right thing to do.  

By letting go of the need for (false) security and certainty, I’ve made room for other opportunities to enter into my life – including the KonMari consultants seminar I had the opportunity to attend in September.  (You can read about that in future posts).  

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do, that deep down feels right for you?  Say it outloud, write it down, or if you’re feeling brave, leave it in the comments below.  We’ll cheer you on! 

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